How God Heals Relationships

Mark 12:28–31

One of the scribes came up and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked Him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?”

“The most important,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

It’s funny, isn’t it? Noticing how well Jesus answered him.

We’re always itching for someone to be right.

“Oh, I want to be right.”

“Maybe that guy’s right.”

Let’s find out who’s right here. Let’s jump in the comment section — come on!

“I’m going to show you I’m right.”

“Oh no, that guy made a good point — that’s a good one, I’ll like that comment.”

One of the scribes — one of the Facebook scribes — came up and heard Jesus in their debate.

And Jesus lays it down right here. He sums it all up.

It’s tempting for us to palm through Scripture like we do in life — nitpick, prove others wrong, correct interpretations, and argue.

But at the end of the day, Jesus sums it up for all of us.

We all want to be right.

But Jesus says there’s something more important than being right.

How we treat people is really important to God.

So much so that He puts it right up beside loving Him.

Of course, “Love the Lord your God…” That’s challenging but obvious.

And then He throws in this one — just as important:

How we treat other people. How we do relationships.

“Oh, that’s the one we don’t want to hear. Not that person though…”

Reconciliation Matters to God

Matthew 5:23–24

If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

If you think that’s easy, it’s because you haven’t thought of the right person yet.

Because everyone’s got someone. That’s a hard challenge. Reconciliation demands so much more from us than bringing a gift to the altar.

It’s way easier to come to church, lift your hands, sing the song, and say you’re sorry to God.

But when He says, “That’s great… but this person… this relationship…”

Relationships really, really matter to God.

We’ve got to stop avoiding doing the most important thing.

There’s always something else to distract us — but the Holy Spirit will speak to you if you open your heart.

He’ll say, “That’s great — but this person…”

Relationships: God’s Framework

They say relationships make life rich and meaningful — and they do, they also make life busy, messy, confusing, painful, and at times traumatic.

But, curiously, and amazingly, everything God does in Scripture happens through relationships. With Him — and in community with others.

Relationships are the glue for all theology — the intersection between ideas and fruitfulness.

You can have ideas and opinions, but if you live alone in a cave, there’s no one to love, forgive, or serve.

Relationships are where out theology becomes real.

The very outworking of our faith is expressed in relationships.

They’re taxing, tiring — but inescapable.

God has so much for us through relationships.

Relationships Are a Mirror

One of the best gifts I ever received came from a friend.

He said:

“Jacob, I don’t experience you as a good listener.”

Yeah. That one took a while.

Couldn’t argue with that. Gut punch.

But it's one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given — that honest, brave feedback.

Relationships are a mirror.

We think we’re good. Christlike.

Then someone tells us how they experience us.

“What? Really?”

And we go back to prayer, surrender, and let the Spirit grow us.

We need relationships — and honest feedback — if we want to grow.

Why Relationships Are Difficult

Because we treat people out of the overflow of what’s going on inside us.

We’ve got broken thinking, broken hearts, trauma, disappointment, unmet needs — and that overflow makes things complicated.

Sometimes we shrug it off:

“I’m just human.”

But Scripture tells us — humanity isn’t the problem. In Genesis 2–3, we see two human beings in perfect relationship with God — no dysfunction, no selfishness, no envy, no hatred.

The problem isn’t humanity, the problem is rebellion.

Key 1: Submit to God

Rebellion is the problem.

The first key to healing our relationships is submitting to God.

Adam and Eve in the garden chose the tree of knowledge of good and evil — deciding for themselves what’s right and wrong.

That’s rebellion.

The snake whispered: “You don’t need to let them treat you like that… nobody really knows how amazing you are.”

And pride takes root. Pride leads to rebellion.

Rebellion leads to dysfunction — breaking our relationship with God first, and then with others.

The garden represents being in the center of God’s will — under His protection and provision.

When we step out of submission, we step out of covering.

Psalm 27:10

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

God wants to adopt you, heal you, and father you.

He wants to model a new way of relating — through relationship with Him.

Submit to God as your father, and receive protection and provision.

Story: Submitting to God’s Will

Years ago, when Ariel and I were dating — about twelve years ago — I was a total yo-yo.

God had said, “Wait.”

But I was charging ahead — “You can’t stop me!”

And I made a mess of it.

I was outside the will of God, in sin, trying to make it work my own way.

The Holy Spirit said to me, “Break up with her.”

“No, Lord — I’m going to marry her!”

But I obeyed. A year went by.

Eventually, God gave the green light again — His timing.

When I went to ask her dad’s permission, I was full of shame and embarrassment.

But he met me with grace.

It was the most incredible experience of receiving grace.

And when Ariel and I got back together, it was completely different.

Night and day — because we were living inside the will of God.

Within a short amount of time we were married, now with 4 beautiful children.

Our relationship needed to be surrendered to God, brought into his will and born again. We had to fully let go and trust God. Then we were in a position of submission, ready to recieve.

Taste and see that the Lord is good.

When you live in His will, every part of your life flourishes. Submit to God.

Key 2: Submit to Jesus

We’ve all broken relationships, hurt people, made mistakes. Sin causes destruction we can’t fix.

In Genesis 3–4, Adam and Eve rebel, are cast out, and their sin bears fruit in Cain and Abel — envy and murder.

Sin multiplies — violence grows until the earth is full of blood.

“The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.”

(Genesis 4:10)

Abel’s blood cried for justice. But Jesus’ blood cries for mercy.

Romans 5:8–9

God proves His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through Him!

Hebrews 12:23–24

You have come to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

While others cry for justice, Jesus cries: “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”

When you look back at your long line of sins, Jesus says: “Mercy. Mercy. Mercy.”

His blood washes us clean, but we must submit to Him — to His mercy — and let go of shame.

Jesus washes your past.

You no longer have to carry shame.

Then He sends the Holy Spirit — the Helper.

Key 3: Submit to the Holy Spirit

“He will lead you into all truth.” (John 16:13)

The Spirit renews our minds, restores our hearts, and reconciles relationships.

But the Holy Spirit—He is the Helper. He says, “I am going to help you. I will lead you to all truth” (John 16:13). He helps us do better in our relationships, to live better. He transforms us from the inside out. The Bible says He renews our minds (Romans 12:2), restores our hearts, and does things we cannot do ourselves. He knits people together. He reconciles people. He works forgiveness. He does all the impossible stuff that we can’t do on our own.

The key is to submit to the leading of the Spirit. When He whispers to you and says:

• “Don’t say that”—just don’t say it.

• “Go talk to that person”—go talk to them.

• “Call your mom. Do this.”—do it.

Listen. Submit to Him. Allow Him to heal your broken relationships. We cannot fix these things on our own. We need Him. And the good news? He is available. He makes Himself available. He says, “I’m here. I’m waiting. Just ask me. I’ll answer.”

Two final scriptures guide us in this:

Galatians 5:22-23 – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

There is no law here. There is no being right or wrong. There are no arguments. The Lord says: come, receive my Spirit, and let me change your character. Let me do the deep work and change all your relationships.

If we submit to the Spirit:

• We’ll have more love for people we struggle to love.

• We’ll experience joy—even if we’ve felt so low for so long.

• We’ll experience peace, even when all we’ve known is anxiety.

• We’ll experience patience and kindness, even in frustrating situations.

• We’ll become good, faithful, gentle, self-controlled parents, spouses, and friends.

1 John 4:18-19 BSB

18There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love. 19We love because He first loved us.

God wants to minister His love to you. He wants to transform your relationships through you, with His Spirit guiding you.

If you allow Him.

watch the full sermon here: https://youtube.com/live/3CL1FLUiAxA?feature=share